Here’s That Monsterpocalypse Update Nobody Clamored For
Inception is a hit, God maybe exists (UPDATED)

Bad Santa can’t stop the Tooth Fairy’s rampage

By 07.20.10

Hop up on daddy’s lap, kiddies, I’ve got a couple trailers to share, starting with Faster, starring Dwayne The Rock The Tooth Fairy Johnson and Billy Bob Bad Santa Would-You-Ask-Tom-Petty-That? Thornton. It’s directed by the guy who did Notorious, which was actually pretty fun in a guilty pleasure sort of way.  If you think The Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus are silly names, check out the actual synopsis:

Faster follows Driver [The Rock], an ex-con bent on avenging the death of his brother who was murdered 10 years earlier during a heist. Veteran policeman Cop [Thornton] is trailing Driver as he races to settle with those responsible for the murder and Killer, an egocentric hitman, is also targeting Driver.

“Driver”, “Cop”, and “Killer.”  Yep, those are the actual characters’ names.  I wonder what the dialog will be.  “Freeze, Killer! Ha, I knew the day would finally come when I’d be face to face with the man who’d lead me to the third-act plot denouement!”

Cleveland vs. Wall Street

It’s a documentary about a group of lawyers from Cleveland who sued the banks for shady sub-prime mortgage lending practices.

On January 11, 2008, Josh Cohen and his associates, lawyers in the city of Cleveland, assign to justice 21 banks that they deem responsible for foreclosures that are devastating their city. But banks on Wall Street that they attack by all means oppose the opening of proceedings.
Cleveland vs. Wall Street tells the story of a trial that should have happened. A trial of cinema, including history, the protagonists and their stories are real … [TrailerAddict]

This looks, uh, somewhat simplistic.  I’m guessing it ends with the bankers dunking on the lawyers and moving to Miami.

The Goon

From Blur Studios, produced by David Fincher and based on the comic series I know nothing about.  The teaser doesn’t do much for me, but my friend Wikipedia is a huge fan of the comic, and she makes it sound somewhat interesting:

The Goon is a comic book series by Eric Powell. The series has a distinctly paranormal slant, with the average story concerning ghosts, ghouls, zombies, hobos, skunk-apes with an unnatural hunger for pie, extra-dimensional aliens, and mad scientists.

Eric Powell ‘revealed’ on July 5, 2006, in the introduction to The Goon Issue #18, that the issue was originally going to be “Satan’s Sodomy Baby”. That story was allegedly held back due to complaints of a woman called ‘Margaret Snodgrass,’ a fictitious person created by Powell to generate buzz about this ‘controversial’ issue.

That’s kind of fun, but I have to point out that if he’d just called it “Jesus‘s Sodomy Baby”, he probably wouldn’t have had to create a fictitious controversy.  Jesus… Sodomy… it practically controverses itself. “Jesus’s Sodomy Baby” would also make a great title for Sarah Palin’s retarded daughter’s future autobiography. BOOM, POLITICS! THIS JOKE WRITTEN BY BILL MAHER AND SETH MCFARLANE’S SODOMY BABY! Anyway, my cousin Jeff was a sodomy baby. True story.


TAGSBILLY BOB THORNTONCLEVELAND VS WALL STREETdavid fincherFASTERGOONthe rock

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