Our country’s finest satirists, Jason Seltzer and Aaron Friedberg (Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie) are lampooning the country’s vampire craze in their latest film, Vampires Suck. Here’s the first trailer. And of course by ‘lampooning’, I mean literally recreating scenes from other movies but rewriting it so that someone gets hit with something. I’m f*cking serious. That is the format of 99% of Seltzer-Freebird’s jokes. I could take the keys off my keyboard, feed them to a hobo, sock him in the belly, and whatever came out his ass would still be a better screenplay than anything these two idiots have ever written.
Hey, remember last time I wrote about Seltzer-Freebird, knowing absolutely nothing about this movie other than that it was about vampires?
With Seltzer-Freebird, you know the satire will never go further than Lady Gaga slipping on a banana peel. Seriously, I will bet you $1000 that this will include a Lady Gaga joke.
Pay up, motherf*ckers. And for shame, Ken Jeong. You can’t need the money that bad. Seeing Ken Jeong in a Seltzer-Freebird movie is worse than a Cowboy fan watching Jimmy Johnson do commercials for d*ck pills.