When we last heard from our good friend Channing Tatum, we learned that he was adding producer to his distinguished repertoire, and to show that he is indeed the “hardest twirkin’ playa in show biznass” he’s attached to star in and produce yet another film, Ten Year. As always, he was kind enough to drop some knowledge on us.
Yo girl, it’s ya boi C-TATES and I’mma raise my rates cuz I shine like da Pearly Gates, and when me and my girl goes shoppin’ we buy furniture at the Barrel and Crates. For real, stained armoire like a mutha f*cka. So check it girl, remember when you was all fat and sh*t in high schools and da other bitches be all like, Yo girl, yo sh*t is whack and you was all like, Oh snap I’m cryin’ cuz you girls is mean to me, right? But then you went to college and yo tittays got all big like KAPLOW! Now you like, Check it son, tittays for days.
Well that’s what C-Tate’s new jam Ten Year is gonna be like, cuz like I’m producin’ and sh*t and I’m bringin’ my crew legit. Yo girl, we’s playin’ friends who meet up and lay some game at our ten year reunion. That’s like, a decade, right? Math for real, AP GEOMETRY SON WHAT! And like all the bitches gon be like, Yo C-Tate’s, you was the cappin of the footballs and prom kings and now you makin’ millions as like the prezident Obamas, recognize.
Yo Cinema Blend, will there be dancin’? You know we breakin’ it off, playa:
This fall’s ABC series My Generation is bringing nostalgia to the Gen Y era by focusing on 9 high school friends who are looking back at what their lives have become 10 years after graduation. And that’s seriously the exact same premise behind an entirely different project, Ten Year, which is about an actual ten-year reunion and not revolving around a faux-documentary conceit, but still, is basically the same thing.
Yo girl, I ain’t no Will.i.am Shakespurr but I know dat sentence structure is hella whack! But check it, I gots my main boy Chris Pine, we calls him C-Pines, right? And we gonna have Chris Pratt, who we calls C-Pratts, and he’s got his super fine wife Anna Faris. Yo, you know dat girl look dope like da Pope in Scary Movie Deuce. And of course we gots my main baby mama, Jenna Dewan, gonna play my fine ass boo.
So dat’s dat, playboy. C-Tate’s runnin’ da game now in Hollyweird. Yo girl, you want yo crew and my crew to rendezvous? Biggie, son. Respek.