Here we have the trailer for David Schwimmer’s (yes, Ross from Friends) sophomore effort as a director, Trust, which will play the Toronto Film Festival next month. I’m one of the few avowed Schwimmer defenders around (I think he’s a solid actor, sue me), but even with a script from Michael Ian Black and Simon Pegg, Run Fatboy Run was about as lame and generic as they come. Schwimmer’s latest is about an online predator, and while I expect this kind of torn-from-the-headlines queef party from Dateline NBC or Law and Order: Juggalo Perverts Unit Kalamazoo, it’s not quite what I look for in a feature. In fact, if you just watch this six seconds of it, it looks like a Brinks home security commercial:
That’s the “after” version, once the polite operator has helped keep your home safe from all manner of Caucasian thugs. Sorry, I digress. Anyway, this was my favorite exchange from the trailer:
CLIVE OWEN: Who are you talking to?
DAUGHTER: I’m chatting, Dad.
Haha, get the lingo right, n00B. Sorry, you’ll have to excuse Clive Owen, he’s just an IDIOT.
This movie looks like if you told an alien or a robot to cut together a movie that it thought would appeal to a human American.
True Story Aside: My old apartment in New York was once used as a location in an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent. They used it to shoot the interior scenes set in an online predator’s apartment. So basically, my apartment played “pedophile’s apartment” on Law & Order. They paid me a few grand. True story.