Casey Affleck’s Joaquin Phoenix documentary, I’m Still Here, opens next month and now it has a teaser trailer. I must say, it seems to be taking itself rather seriously for a movie about Cleveland Steamers and cape shopping. I don’t get it. This whole thing seemed like a stunt from the very beginning, and the fact that there was a documentary about it seems to corroborate that. It’s funny as a huge practical joke, so why are we still trying to sell it as some artsy, fall-from-grace documentary? It wouldn’t have been quite as dramatic if Tony Montana had spent the second half of Scarface deciding he wanted to become a mime and rubbing his wiener against people on the subway. Anyway, the whole trailer is narrated by the Scorsese-movie version of an Apache medicine man who tells Joaquin that he’s a “mountain-top water drop” (buttercup baby just to let me down…).
That’s you. [pointing at drops of water] Drops of water. And you’re on top of the mountain. A success. But one day you start sliding down the mountain. you think,wait a minute, I’m a mountain-top water drop. I don’t belong in this valley, this river, this little dark ocean, with all these drops of water. Then one day it gets hot. And you slowly evaporate into air. Way up. Higher than any mountain top. Then you understand that it’s at your lowest that you’re closest to God.
If that’s true, what about the part where the water drops are covered in sh*t? I guess I don’t understand these fancy metaphors. However, if you listen closely during that speech, you can almost hear the sound of Terrence Howard playing the bongos.
Also, is it just me, or does Joaquin Phoenix kinda look like the pregnant Asian dude?