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Joaquin Claus Is Not Real: Phoenix Doc 'I'm Still Here' An Admitted Fake

By / 09.17.10

Well, now all the nonbelievers can finally add Disheveled Joaquin Phoenix to their list of imaginary holiday figures -Casey Affleck has officially revealed to the New York Times that his upcoming Joaquin Phoenix fecal party, I’m Still Here, is actually just a piece of performance art. Shocking, I know. And for all three of the people who just genuinely gasped, I’d like you to drink some of this Kool-Aid.

*hands over leather canteen*

In a series of e-mails that followed a Thursday interview with the paper, Affleck turned all bromo and couldn’t stop praising the star of his film:

“His performance is compelling, always watchable, manages to be repulsive and charming, believable in all emotions, completely committed, incredibly brave,” wrote Mr. Affleck. It must have been “tedious” for Mr. Phoenix, he said. “How difficult to resist the cheap joke, the wink, the nudge.” But, he added: “He has the tools for this. He has the goods in spades.”

“I hope Joaquin gets nominated for all kinds of awards,” wrote Mr. Affleck. “He deserves it.”

Yeah, whatever you say, Casey. He has goods in spades and three in the stink, we get it. When asked about the infamous David Letterman interview, Affleck was adamant that Dave wasn’t in on the gag, but the New York Times posted a link to an article from Nuvo.net where Late Night writer, Bill Scheft, claims Letterman was completely aware the whole time.

Nuvo: Tell me what it was like backstage after the Joaquin Phoenix appearance.

Scheft: First of all, that was all an act.

Nuvo: Even Dave’s part of it?

Scheft: Yeah. Think Andy Kaufman without shaving. That’s what he was doing. And Dave knew about it and Dave loved it because he could play along. He could do whatever he wanted with it. And he did, and it was great television. But I will take credit for the line, “I think I owe Farrah Fawcett an apology.” That line was mine. I gave that to him during the break.

Dave loves that. He had a ball. He likes anything that’s good television, and he knew that’s good television.

Dun, dun, dunnnnnn…and so the plot thickens as we begin to speculate on who exactly knew who wasn’t exactly in on the prank that no one was exactly in on, because it was already obvious that it wasn’t exactly real? Exactly!!!

So, does this mean that we can’t still enjoy a faux documentary starring an oral sex-receiving, cocaine abusing Joaquin Phoenix? Not really, but at the same time who cares about a mountaintop water drop who pretends to be a bearded mountaintop water drop? Personally, I think it’s all just an elaborate attempt to remove the attention from that cleft lip.

-Chodin

And a very special bag tag to DeadlineNY for the TOLDJA!


TAGSCASEY AFFLECKCHODINCLEVELAND STEAMERSI'M STILL HEREjoaquin phoenixnew york times

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