This week, I have FIVE, count them, FIVE, copies of The Hangover: Extreme Edition to give away. As much as I love to reward my cleverest commenters, I thought this week I’d spread the love around to the loyal readers who might not always comment. So in addition to the three copies I’m giving to my three favorite comments from last week, I’m setting aside TWO for the FIRST TWO readers who email me (suggestion: include an address, dingus). (UPDATE: Closed. Sorry, y’all. And thanks for the emails.)
The Hangover: Extreme Edition contains an exclusive never before seen 28-page wedding album featuring missing photos from the ill-fated Vegas wedding and more incriminating photos from the lost camera that you couldn’t see in theaters! Additionally, the Extreme Edition boasts everything from the original 2-disc Special Edition, including a Map of Destruction – retracing the fate-filled evening, action and cursing mash-ups, extras from The Dan Band, Iron Mike and the three groomsmen, including a hilarious gag reel.
So. Ready to see the winners? Of course you are. Haha, my headline has two colons.
From the I-sure-wish-I’d-thought-of-that files, The Jersey Devil‘s comment in Rhys Ifans is a Spider-Man Villain:
The Jersey Devil says: Rhys Ifans’ super power? He’s wiry.
Similarly succinct was Larry in the Aaron Sorkin Responds to Social Network Sexism Criticism:
Larry says: And it isn’t misogynistic to get dumped by a girl and call her a bitch online. I called Mother Teresa a c*mdumpster on my blog, and that was in a post about Alabama’s coaching staff.
And finally, Mick even managed to squeeze a joke into a story about an adult film star contracting AIDs.
Mick says: On the plus side, now they can begin production on This Ain’t Philadelphia XXX.
I hope you bought that domain, Mick. Send me your addresses to collect your prizes, people.
I almost put this one in the top three, but in the end, I couldn’t tell if it was funny or just bizarre. From Kris Kristofferson joins 3D Robo-Dolphin movie with Harry Connick Jr.:
Robo-Dolphin: Eeh eeh eeh eeh eeh *splashes water with robotic tail*
Harry Connick Jr: You’re right Winter, we can’t let those filthy drug peddling, child molesting White supremacists get away with this!
Robo-Dolphin: *Spits water at HCJ, blows air through blowhole*
Harry Connick Jr: I see what you’re saying, and it just might work.
Cut to HCJ in black face with Robo-Dolphin in oversized afro wig.
Robo-Dolphin: Eeh Eeh eehh.
Harry Connick Jr: No, you look stupid. Shut up. Shut the f**k up or I’ll plug you you f**king dolphin sonofabitch.
Let’s just say I was impressed, but it might be because you need help. From Eric Stoltz as the original Marty McFly in Back to the Future:
Biff Nerdbeater says: Boy, I’ll tell you though. That ginger could take a beating.
From the adult film star tests positive for AIDS:
Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says: AIDS made Montana Fishburne’s ass look like this. (¨•.Y·:°)
From Chistine O’Donnell’s latest commercial references They Rapin’ Errybody guy:
GlennBeckHasAIDS says: She’s gonna amp up her base to full intensity right before election day with an ad claiming that Coons raised the Juggalo Baby Funeral tax. [Just to clarify, her opponent is Chris Coons. -Ed]
Danger Guerrero says: “This here’s a little ditty about my cheatin’, no good, ex-husband. It’s called, “Drownin’ My Sorrows in Organic, Fair Trade, Half-Caff Soy Lattes (Keep Your Biscotti To Yourself)”
Stinky Peet says: I’m looking forward to her next single, “These Colors Don’t Run (Because I Hand-Wash With Environmentally Safe Detergents in Dean Kamen Purified Water)”.
From Tom Hardy joins Batman 3:
Zero Charisma You guys talk pretty hard on Maggie G., but she was kind enough to let me draw her profile and now I am in art school!
If Burnsy wasn’t already on the Uproxx payroll, this might have been worth a CoTW prize. From Top Gun 2 in the works:
Burnsy says: Val Kilmer will be your Buffalo wingman any time.
And of course, the week wouldn’t be complete without a cruel joke at the expense of someone’s disability:
[From Famous Last Words] Donkey Hodey says: Tell Merrill… that lip creeps me out.
Oski says: Hey girl, instead of a snaggletooth I’m going to call it a snuggletooth.