When I woke up this morning, an inside source had sent me news of a new script that’s going around called Dances with Werewolves, which my source tells me will be in 3D, and get at least a limited theatrical run courtesy of Hannover House (who’s also handling the awesome-looking viking LARP movie, Wild Hunt). But before I could change my name to “Queefsward and Derpstein” and stick a post-it that says “PRESS” to my dirty underpants, I found that Dreadcentral had beat me to it. Read this awesome synopsis that they already posted while I fart in their general direction:
Winter, 1864. William Singer and his young brother, Henry, along with four other Confederate POWs, escape from a Union prison camp just outside of Chicago. The ragged band soon find refuge aboard a moving locomotive, only to wake the next morning, train stopped, and the passengers brutally butchered by what appears to be the work of a wild animal. Trekking through the frozen wasteland, the rebels discover that “wild animal” is no animal at all, but a pack of Native American shape-shifting werewolves with an insatiable hunger for human flesh. Relentlessly tracked by the Union Army, hunted by werewolves, trapped within the bitter cold with no food, no water and nowhere to go, they soon discover the hell they left is nothing compared to the horrors all around them.
BUT DO THE ETHNIC WEREWOLVES HAVE SIX-PACK ABS?!!? I NEED TO KNOW!!! A worthy adversary, ethnic werewolves can only be killed by silver bullets, or intense platonic love between two sparkling white Aryans.