After the jump, I’ve got new trailers for Battle: Los Angeles, and Beastly, the “edgy teen drama” about learning not to judge a book by its cover. Beastly stars Alex Pettyfer as Handsome McPopular, a rich high school kid who has it all — money, abs, flowing locks, inexplicable speech-giving opportunities — until one day he pisses off goth witch Mary-Kate Olsen, who turns his eyebrows into Arabic writing. WHO’S GONNA LOVE YOU NOW, FARSI FACE? Hard to say what my favorite part was, because this trailer has everything:
“Chicks dig blind guys.”
“Too bad they don’t dig ugly guys.”
“How do you know?”
“…I’m gonna build her a greenhouse.”
Great dialog. A+ for believability. But if you wanted to send a message that looks aren’t important, you probably shouldn’t have cast Mary-Kate Olsen as a witch. [via ComingSoon]
Elsewhere, Battle: Los Angeles just released this new trailer. From the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, aliens are invading — again! And this time, our only hope is Aaron Eckhardt. Once again, they’ve managed to successfully disguise the fact that Michelle Rodriguez is in this. I don’t understand the strategy. How will I understand the defiance of the human spirit in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds without a hardcore Latina? Her sneer reminds me that life’s not worth living without a cause worth dying for. PAINT YOUR FACE, MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ! SAY SOMETHING GLIB ON THE WAY TO A SUICIDE MISSION!