Tina Fey is not crazy
Tosh Is In The 'Never Miss A WNBA Eastern Conference Finals Club'

The Church of Lebowski Is A Thing That Exists

By / 02.07.11

It was only a matter of time. We’ve seen Big Lebowski festivals and convenience stores, so someone basing a religion around it was clearly in the cards. What I did not see coming was the religion being centered in Thailand. Don’t be fatuous, CNN:

Dubbed “Church of the Latter-Day Dude,” the group also invites “mellow, unflashy chicks who hang around in their bathrobes and take baths with candles and whale sounds,” says the religion’s Dudely Lama, Oliver Benjamin.

“Everyone feels oppressed by society’s pressures,” he says.

“Everyone wishes they had more freedom. Everyone wishes they could be more carefree, to worry less about money and status.”

Well, there you go. At this point you’re probably thinking, “Hey, I bet the guy who created a religion based around The Big Lebowski and refers to himself as the ‘Dudely Llama’ definitely isn’t a crackpot.” NOT SO FAST, MY IMAGINARY DULLARD READER! The article is littered with wackadoo quotes by Mr. Benjamin. Meet me after the jump.

“The reason I embarked on a 10-year backpacking journey was so I could avoid being brainwashed by the machine of industry, and find the space and freedom to indulge my imagination.”

That’s ridiculous. If you made a candle called “10-year backpacking journey,” it would smell like a Phish concert mixed with a gym sock.

People who aren’t cool, ultimately go crazy, Oliver warns.

(*spends all 3rd period giving swirlies*) I AM THE SANEST MAN ALIVE!

“Ideally, we’d like to help people find ways to earn money with less work, but of course that’s always a challenge. Fifty years ago, everyone thought that robots would be doing all the work for us and people would be living lives of leisure. That this has not come to pass is surely mankind’s biggest tragedy,” Oliver laments.

“Poverty? No. World hunger? F-ck off. War? (*wanks dismissively*). Robot slaves, man.”

“One problem also is that too many people just think the Dude is a burned out hedonistic stoner. Nothing could be further from the truth. He’s an intellectual with strong moral character and a lively, creative mind.”

(*reads aloud while taking notes*) The idea… that the Dude… is a stoner… is the furthest thing… from the truth. Got it.

“He’s also a stoner…”

Wait, what?

“… but that’s not a bad thing. Too many people confuse Dudeism with anarchism or selfish laziness. Dudeism recognizes the need for organization and rules, and the laziness it touts is disciplined and determined.”

Seriously, read the last part of that sentence. Disciplined… and determined… laziness. That couldn’t make less sense even if it was mumbled incoherently by a character in Guy Ritchie film.

“Free time should be used to free your mind and cultivate inner peace. Not to play ‘Grand Theft Auto’ all day and gorge on snack food,” he says.

When reached for comment, literally every person on the Internet responded, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”

Despite this clearly being a cuckoo experiment by a drugged-out weirdo, it’s not like it’s all bad. I mean, say what you will about a religion founded by a backpacking nutcase and based on a movie, dudes, but at least it’s an ethos.


TAGScrazy peopleDANGER GUERRERONICE MARMOTreligionTHE BIG LEBOWSKI

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