Justin Bieber to play Ashton Kutcher in a Will Smith film

(*head explodes*)

Yes, get excited, people, you may soon be able to see Ashton Kutcher play an older version of Justin Bieber in the film What Would Kenny Do? The answer to the rhetorical question of course being “grow bangs.”

The film tells of a relationship between a 17-year-old and his thirtysomething self. Said thirtysomething would be played by Ashton Kutcher, the source said. The project is set up at Sony and will be produced by Kutcher’s Katalyst Entertainment and Will Smith’s Overbrook Entertainment (Bieber and Jaden Smith are of course friends).

Ooh, Bieber and Kutcher AND Jaden Smith?  Can’t we throw Lights Camera Jackson or a Kardashian sister in there?  This isn’t obnoxious enough yet.  AUTOTUNE IT, AUTOTUNE IT ALL!

Chris Baldi’s “Kenny” script, which landed on Hollywood’s Black List  in 2008, is an R-rated comedy describing a teenager who meets a hologram claiming to be the adult version of himself; the hologram then helps guide the teen through high school. The project was originally set up at MGM label United Artists when MGM was under different management.

“(500) Days of Summer” writers Scott Neustadter and Michael Weber then came on and wrote a new draft of the script. According to a person who was briefed on the new (less raunchy) draft, the story now involves Kutcher’s successful character actually jumping back in time to help the present-day Bieber, who remains awkward.  A new writer and director are currently being sought. [LATimes]

Wait, so the guy “claims” to be an adult version of the kid?  I hope halfway through, when the kid’s out on a big date with his older self giving him advice through an earpiece, he finds out the older guy isn’t actually him at all, just an unemployed softball coach hoping to score Selena Gomez sexts.  “Come on, bro, don’t hold out on me. My wife’s, like, really, really old.”

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