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Don’t Worry, Ouija Has A New Writer

By 04.20.11

*puts finger tips on Ouija Board planchette*

Oh spirits of the deep, dark void… I beckon you! Tell me, ghosts of another world, does Hollywood have anything mind-numbingly retarded in the works this week?

Evan Spiliotopoulos, best known for penning a slew of high-profile, straight-to-DVD Disney animated pics, has been tapped to work on Ouija for Universal and Michael Bay’s production banner Platinum Dunes.

McG is directing the movie, which is an adaptation of the Hasbro board game about conjuring up spirits of the dead. (Via The Hollywood Reporter)

That’s right, folks – a Ouija Board movie being produced by Michael Bay and directed by McG, who is a grown adult and still goes by a childhood nickname. Even better, the new writer with the really long name is the guy who brought us such classics as The Lion King 1 ½, Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie, and Wanted 2, which will probably never happen because Angeline Jolie thinks it’s stupid. Even better, Spiliotopoulos is working on the script that was originally written by the guys who wrote Tron: Legacy, and they’ve already washed their hands of this awful idea.

As for the brain trust behind Ouija, I’m assuming the following conversation took place…

Michael Bay: “This movie needs something… more.”
McG: “What about a cartoon bear with his head stuck in a honey pot?”
Bay: “More.”
McG: “A soundtrack by Sugar Ray?”
Bay: *explosion sound*

(Banner image via Buzznet)


TAGSBOARD GAMESMCGMichael BayOUIJA BOARDPlatinum Dunesterrible ideaswhy god why?

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