When I started this whole “hate mail” section of Comments of the Week, I was just expecting to highlight the snooty emails, the dismissive comments people leave me on occasion — since I’m so often dismissive and snotty about other things I figure it’s only fair, and it’s a little window into my world (yes, a little self-indulgent, I suppose). What I never expected was real hate mail, from an actress in a blockbuster movie! Incredible! But we’ll get to me later, in the hate mail section on page 2. First, you guys, and your charming witticisms; your vulgar, drive-by e-gropings.
This comment, on the new trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathlier Hallows, has my vote for best of the week, based on visual alone:
Stallonewolf says: Sex with Emma Watson? Why I’d be lucky if I didn’t blow my load before I got the sorting hat on.
This was the first picture that came up under “Harry Potter sorting hat.” Blowing a load is exactly what it looks like he’s doing.
COMMENTS OF THE WEEK HONORABLE MENTION:
Phone Sex Grandma wants you to “lick her dirty assh*le.” DavidNowacki here knows how to respond to that kind of dirty talk:
davidnowacki: Yeah, spit on that toilet paper b*tch, wipe that dirty assh*le.
Next up, from the trailer for Tarsem Singh’s The Immortals:
StinkyPeet say: Tarsem Singh’s films remind me of Marlee Matlin: easy on the eyes but utterly incomprehensible.
I still say The Fall is great, but that doesn’t make ridiculing deaf people less funny. Then we had a “Gary Busey Facts” post (based on him being cast in Piranha 3DD). Those are always fun.
Crapbasket: “Gary Busey thinks calling something the cat’s pajamas is the frog’s eyebrows.”
Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says: Gary Busey’s signature is on Obama’s birth certificate.
Jessolido says: Garey Busey chews soda can tabs like they were Chicklets
Burnsy says: Gary Busey collects retainers from the children of lawyers.
Crapbasket says: Gary Busey knocked down London Bridge for being too cockney.
Dingus says: Upon learning of the release of Obama’s birth certificate, The Donald’s followers broke out into a spontaneous chorus of “We shall overcomb”.
From RIP Alice Ward:
pants says: Looks like she’s put life in her reahview. Go sawx!
Call us disrespectful if you want, but a little death isn’t going to keep us from owah Bawston jokes.
Finally, and this is a nice segue into the Hate Mail portion of this post, from Thor looks badass/Jaimie Alexander loves Star Wars:
DEVO says: Bitch, don’t talk to me about nerds. The closest I got to getting laid in high school is when I got beat up by a girl and my hand sorta grazed her cleavage.
Indeed. Which brings us to today’s very special edition of Hate Mail.
I want more like this!
Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.