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Frotcast 47: Porn stories with Joe King, your masturbating dog questions

By / 05.11.11

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As we creep up on ONE FULL YEAR of FilmDrunk Frotcasts, we celebrate with a hastily-thrown together episode sloppily organized and recorded just before Ben goes out of town for a week.  We invited comedian and former porn cameraman Joe King on to talk about porn, comedy, and everything else (he has a show tonight in LA, incidentally).  IT MIGHT BE OUR LEAST MOVIE-RELATED EPISODE YET!  We also read some of your questions and emails, including this week’s winner, the guy whose MASTURBATING DOG CUMS BLOOD!  I’ve attached that story after the jump. Thanks for listening, everyone.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE. SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES. ALSO AVAILABLE ON BLACKBERRY PODCASTS.  …Email us at Frotcast@gmail.com.

Hi Frotcasters!

I’m a new listener to the ‘cast and after listening to some listener emails, I figure this story is right up your alley.

My girlfriend and I bought a pug about a year ago, and we’ve never had any regrets about picking up this little guy. The only real quirk about him was that this little guy knew how to jerk-off. At first it was hilarious. I just kind of looked at him while he did it, and every once in awhile our eyes would lock, with me feeling somewhat introspective (holy sh*t, he’s just like me), and him not feeling anything except absolute pleasure. He would do it almost anywhere, too. Mostly when he was bored, he would sort of cross his front legs and hump the hell out of them.

This went on for probably about a month until I get a call at work from my girlfriend. “Jon, he did it again,” she said, “but… uh… blood came out this time.”

After I get home from work, I take him to the vet and the first thing they had me do was explain what was wrong. It’s very hard to not laugh when explaining that your dog not only knows how to beat it, but also that he beats it so f*cking much that blood is coming out. I wanted to hold him up like Simba and yell, “MY DOG CUMS BLOOD!” with a little sticky note attached to his junk that says, “please fix :)”

My dog and I get into a room, and eventually the vet comes in. I explain everything and he tells me that he might have a prostate problem. Great. The vet starts gloving up his hand and putting some lube all over his finger. He has to have a prostate exam. Not only that, but he’s not going to sit still while a strange man shoves an index finger in his hole, so I have to hold him still. My dog looks at me, confused. I mouth, “I’m sorry,” to him, as the finger plunges in. The vet roots around in his little doggy butthole until he seems satisfied. Turns out he’s got an enlarged prostate. We get some antibiotics and sign him up to get neutered a week later.

Hope you enjoyed this,

[Guy whose name I'm not sure whether I'm allowed to use]

Needless to say, we enjoyed this greatly.  Keep the emails coming.


TAGSFROTCASTJOE KING

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