Dueling Comedy Acts on 'Conan'
Introducing... Major Look Boston

Man, Woody Allen is old

By 06.30.11

"No, seriously, no cables, not even an antenna! Have you seen this? Have you heard of this? I don't know where it came from, but this nice Mexican girl gave it to me. She's pretty, but I think she might be a witch."

Word up, hepcats, peep this excerpt from a recent interview with Woody Allen:

Reuters: You still write your scripts on a typewriter?

Allen: I don’t own a word processor; I am not a gadget person.

Reuters: So how do you adapt to the world of iPods and iPads?

Allen: I have a telephone, a cell phone, but all I can do on it is call out and receive calls. I don’t have any other use, I have no, what do you call it, text number? [source]

A “text number?”  Jesus, man, is that some Jitterbug scheme to get old people to buy two phones?  I also like how he casually refers to “word processors” as if they’re the latest in gadgetry.  I’m old enough to remember jerking off before the internet (in college!) and even I barely know what that is.  I imagine him looking at the reporter’s microphone going “Can it hear me? Do I need to get closer to the machine?”  Which I suppose makes it all the more impressive that his latest movie is actually pretty friggin good. I should show him the email forward with all those “amazing real pictures” my mom keeps sending me.  “Good heavens! I can’t believe the shark ate that helicopter,” I imagine he’d say.

[thanks to the ancient Matt Ufford for the tip]


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