Though it mostly involves slogging through misspelled bon mots about loving Jesus and advice on dealing with h8rz, following P Diddy on Twitter will occasionally reward you with a picture like this. That’s copyright P-Dizzle, son, don’t be infringin’. I still can’t believe this man has convinced grown adults to call him “P-Diddy,” (I’VE CALLED A PRESS CONFERENCE TO ANNOUNCE THAT MY LEGAL NAME IS NOW “MC FLIPPETY FLOP”, PLAN ACCORDINGLY) but I digress. Zach Galifianakis is the subject of an upcoming Rolling Stone interview, meaning RS finally has something in it worth reading besides Matt Taibbi articles (which are great). Here’s a few squid tits I mean tidbits I mean squid tits is my new word for tidbits:
The Hangover Part II star – who doesn’t have a publicist or an assistant and still drives his 1998 Subaru – tells Rolling Stone contributing editor Josh Eells that he’s having difficulty getting used to life as a celebrity. “I’m terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me,” Galifianakis says. “I’m a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There’s nothing you can do except make light of it. That’s if I’m in the mood. Sometimes I get superbummed.”
That he’s hilarious and a super-talented actor and comedian was never in question, but I do sometimes wonder if Zach Galifianakis would be insufferable to hang out with. The Mel Gibson-blackball situation makes me question the d-bagginess of everyone in that cast, who otherwise always seemed wildly likable (provided you never watched Brad Cooper’s episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio).
That doesn’t mean he’s going to stop making movies. “They want to do a Hangover III,” he says. “I’m getting fricking phone calls already.” According to what he’s heard, the plot ditches the format of the first two and focuses on his character escaping from a mental institution with help from the wolf pack.
Yay! There’s your upcoming-movie info scoop! Exciting, right? God movie blogs suck.
Galifianakis went to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner this year, where he rubbed shoulders with Donald Trump, Michael Bloomberg, Amy Poehler, Paul Rudd, Andy Samberg, Rahm Emanuel and many others. At the after party he wandered down to the pool and bumped into Jane Lynch and her wife and Modern Family‘s Jesse Tyler Ferguson and his boyfriend. “Nice to meet you!” he said to the group. “I didn’t realize it was Gay Night by the swimming pool.” At the time, he saw nothing wrong with the exchange. “I walked away like, ‘Another good one!'” he says. “But my girlfriend said, ‘I gotta tell you, Zach – that did not go over well. You have to watch people’s reactions!'”
Am I retarded for not knowing that Jane Lynch was gay? Super-cool lady though (not that being lesbian precludes one from being cool oh Christ you know what I was trying to say). I waited on her once back before I rose to prominence boldy reinventing the snarky blog, and she was just as nice as you might imagine. Nicer, even, and keep in mind I was a terrible waiter. She was nothing like that twat Rachel Hunter, who didn’t tip, as that might require her highness actually deigning to pick up a bill with her bare f*cking hand. Haha, cool story, Vince.
About 10 years ago, he got hired to write for Saturday Night Live. Britney Spears was the musical guest and he pitched a sketch in which Spears was being interviewed by Entertainment Tonight when she suddenly, and without explanation, began bleeding from the mouth. She didn’t find the idea funny. “I remember staring at the ground for, like, 20 seconds, just silent,” Galifiankis says. “45,000 open mics, and I’m trying to impress this 18-year old pop star.” He lasted two weeks at the job.
And just like that, I’m back to loving him again.
“Whenever I’m with a woman I whisper softly into her ear, ‘Touch my vagina,’ and she’s like, ‘What!’ and I’m like, ‘That’s what you’re supposed to say.'”
“I like to go to really bad movies in their fourth week, when there’s no one but me and one other person in the theatre, and I like to sit right next to them. And they’re like ‘excuse me,’ and I’m like ‘Shhh…I can’t hear Keanu.’”