After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Hysteria, premiering at TIFF, starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Hugh “Fancy” Dancy in the story of how Mortimer Granville invented the first vibrator (based on a true story). That’s right, the vibrator was invented by a dude named “Mort.” The title comes from the term “female hysteria”, a commonly diagnosed ailment during Victorian times whose symptoms included:
Faintness, nervousness, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in abdomen, muscle spasm, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and “a tendency to cause trouble“.
Or in modern parlance, “Women be shoppin’.” Victorian England was apparently plagued with droves of these uppity dames, flapping their gums, nagging, and generally being bitchy, and the only solution, then, as now, was genital stimulation, which many patients would receive from their psychiatrist, so that they could get back to making sandwiches (which had been invented the previous summer). In other words, there was nothing a deep d*cking couldn’t cure. Granville’s innovation was inventing an electrical, penis-shaped device to do the job on its own so that English men wouldn’t have to muss their powdered wigs. He was a great man.
Man. I could watch English dudes experiment with sex toys all day. What? No, I meant exactly what I said.
I can’t wait for the story about Mort’s nephew, Fat Tony, inventor of the double-sided dildo.