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The New Spidey Is a Human Taser?

Fight Witness: Baby Goose ‘Really Did Save the Day.’

By 08.25.11

It’s hard for a die-hard Huggalo like me to imagine that anyone needed further proof that Ryan Gosling is a human rainbow wrapped in kitten fur and sprinkled with confectioner’s sugar, but in case you don’t believe that the street fight he broke up went down the way everyone says it did, there’s a new interview with the witness to prove it. The guys from OMGICU caught up with Valerie, the girl who filmed the original video, and asked for her account of the incident.

Basically, what happened was that the black dude on the right is a painter who hangs out at Astor Place and St. Marks every day selling paintings. The day of the incident (which was June 24th, not Saturday, as US Weekly and others reported), the older white guy in glasses came by and snagged a painting without paying. The painter chased him down and grabbed him in the middle of the street and they started to scuffle. That’s when, out of nowhere, Baby Goose showed up like a ray of pure maple syrup from the heavens and sweetened everyone’s pancakes.

“He really did save the day. When at the end, I by mistake turned the camera off, Ryan took [the painter] to the corner and asked him what happened. And this guy explained to him, this guy stole my painting. And so [Baby Goose] said, “Well, how can we fix this? How much is the painting?”

And he said, well it’s ten dollars. So he dug into his wallet, took out a 20, gave it to the guy, and said, ‘Does this settle his debt now?’ And he said yeah. And they stopped fighting and everything was alright. [...] People are saying it was staged — it was not staged. He did that out of the kindness of his heart.”

Hey, girl. I was going to use this money to buy candy, but you know what’s sweeter? Friendship.

Hey girl, I know a guy who’s perfect for you. His name is Andrew Jackson. [Thanks, Burnsy]

Hey girl, I supported the arts today. [Thanks, Danger]

Hey, girl. Momma always said, friendliness is next to Goslingness.

Hey, girl. Look what I found behind your ear! Haha, just kidding, girl, I could never lie to you. It was in my pocket. But you can have it.

Hey, girl. Aren’t black people scary? Try giving him some money.

Hey, girl. I didn’t say that last thing, it was my evil twin, Bizarro Goose. He’s always trying to make me look bad. He has a soul patch. I still love him though. Haha, family!


(here’s the interview, in case you feel like watching it, which I wouldn’t recommend)

[via Gothamist]

Adds Robopanda:

Hey girl, would you call me gouache if I said you look gesso good tonight?

Hey girl, this canvas isn’t gallery wrapped but that’s okay because I was planning to frame it with hugs.

Hey girl, if I told you I didn’t like Mondrian woul’De Stijl like me?


TAGSBABY GOOSEHUGGALOSryan gosling

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