Personally, I love sorority chicks. For one thing, they take pride in their physical appearances , and for another, they’re easily fooled (IMPORTANT QUALITIES). Yet still, a lot people ask me, “Vince, is there anyone more gullible and enthusiastic-to-a-fault than sorority chicks?” To which I would answer yes. Sorority chicks who volunteer for their school’s Panhellenic Council. It’s twice the responsibility of junior high student council with half the political power! Why not? Yay, it’ll be fun, break out the puffy paint! Anyway, just such a group of girls from the University of Alabama made a video for Rush Week, which you can watch below. It has pretty much everything I look for in a sorority recruitment video:
- Star wipes!
- Circle wipes!
- Grid wipes!
- Front-to-back wipes!
- Record scratch sound effects!
- Nice white girls in clumsy, exaggerated parody of rap culture!
- A call to action to “Go Greek!” (That’s slang for butt secks, tee hee!)
- White chicks with no rhythm!
- “Parents are missin’!”
- A Rebecca Black parody!
- Actual black parody!
I could go on, but suffice to say, it is magnificent. If you find Chet Haze videos not nearly uncomfortable enough, than this is the video for you. And there’s not a single minority! Not even an Asian! How is that even possible? This “University of Alabama…” are we sure it’s a college?
You think they purposely found a girl who actually has a MORE grating voice than Rebecca Black for the Rebecca Black parody? Because if so, I’m kind of impressed.
Call me, ladies. What? Hey, I like white people sh*t.
Aw, their enthusiasm, it’s contagious. BURNSY! READY THE FLIP CUPS!