As you can tell by the faces of passersby, Terrence Howard recently left the house wearing a combination of garments that could scarcely be believed. I put the question to you: what is the gayest part of this outfit? Is it the newsie cap? The pink bedazzling on the newsie cap? Is it the scarf? The girly knot the scarf is tied into? The zip-up sweater? The jeans with pockets with button flaps? (Jeans are like genitals, if yours have flaps, you’re a girl). There are a lot of options, but I’ll tell you what the least gay part is, the socks with birkenstocks. I can’t imagine any self-respecting gay man wearing those. |DailyMail|
MORNING LINKS
Suspended Animation FDA-Approved For Human Trials |Gamma Squad|
The singer of Smash Mouth is eating Guy Fieri’s eggs for charity. I could NOT stop turning Smash Mouth lyrics into songs about eggs. |Warming Glow|
Holy Crap This Guy’s Mugshot Will Haunt Your Dreams Forever And Well Into The Afterlife |UPROXX|
This Music Video Is You, Internet. |Gamma Squad|
NOOOO, WHY SO SAD, SAD BIRTHDAY DOG?? |RedSuspenders|
Nic Cage Attacked By Fudgsicle-Wielding Naked Dude |Film Drunk|
7-Foot Russian Boxer To Search For Twittering Bigfoot |With Leather|
Kanye West Rocks Women’s Clothes With New Fashion Line |Smoking Section|
The Sofia Vergara Quote To End All Sofia Vergara Quotes |Buzzfeed|
How Abe Lincoln argued a murder trial (honestly, I imagine). |MentalFloss|
January Jones gave birth to her bastard child, named after the movie she got knocked up with him on. |TheSuperficial|
Brad Pitt liked pranking Jonah Hill on the set of Moneyball. I bet he circled his fat and called him porker all the time too. Brad Pitt is a real meanie. |Videogum|
Before They Joined The Gang: A Look Back At The ‘Always Sunny’ Cast. |ScreenJunkies|
Five Cinematic Plagues and the Degrees to Which They Should Terrify Us. |Nerve|
IN! THE! FAAAAAAACE! |CagePotato|
12 Cases of The Unexplained, Disappearing TV Character |Pajiba|
And finally, The 100 Greatest Shut-Ups in Film:
One thing I notice — “shut up” isn’t that interesting of a line unless you also threaten to F-start a C’s head. Thanks, Way of the Gun.