Poor Shia LaBeouf recently suffered the indignity of getting ground and pounded on the curb by a shirtless fat dude outside a bar called Cinema Public House in Vancouver. Worse, it appears to have been non-consensual. You can see the video below. There isn’t much back story, but according to TMZ, both Shia and the guy had been kicked out of the bar minutes early. The video picks up with Shia on his back getting flabby punches rained down on him, when some bystanders intervene. They tap the fat guy on his shoulder and he almost falls down, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that he was completely butthoused. As Shia appears to be.
According to TMZ, Shia had been a regular at the bar while he’s in Vancouver to shoot The Company You Keep (IRONIC TITLE ALERT, LOL!). Vancouver is a lot like LA except they actually shoot movies there. On an old Frotcast, our friend Justin told us a story about a friend who’d gotten kicked out of a party at Shia Labeouf’s house because the friend had dared question the plot of Transformers, and Shia got heated about it. So who knows? Perhaps this rotund ruffian had the temerity to besmirch the concept of robot heaven and it lead to the donnybrook. More details as they come. Anyway, my favorite part of the video isn’t actually the fight (which is pretty weak), but the part afterwards where Shia’s bros are desperately trying to calm their bro down before he bros out on everyone.
“BRO! Listen to me, bro! Am I your bro? Haven’t we always been f*ckin bros? Listen to me, bro. I’m telling you this as your bro: You gotta calm down right now, bro! …Bro, what do we do? He’s not calming down.”
There is nothing in the world gayer than a group of straight dudes consoling each other after a bar fight.