Snow White Fever has hit Hollywood, with two (possibly three) Snow White movies set to hit next year. One, Snow White and the Huntsman, stars Kristin Stewart as Snow White, has battle sequences, and will be one of the dumbest movies ever made, if the 15 pages of the script I made it through are any indication. Meanwhile, a batch of photos from the version Tarsem Singh directed just hit the web, and say what you will about Tarsem Singh’s movies (I actually really liked The Fall), his visuals are always “off the hook,” as the kids like to say.
However… it’s possible he may have overstylized this time. Snow White looks like she raided Björk’s closet, and on the next page you can see the new seven dwarves, Napoleon, Frenchy, Cowboy, Beardguy, Spaniard, Caveman, and the Asian. They look like a bit like Cirque Du Soleil’s take on the Village People.
Hey look, it’s Mickey from Seinfeld. He might be my favorite dwarf after Peter Dinklage and Warwick Davis. Also: Did you know if you jam your thumb in a midget’s eye, he craps marbles? True story.
(That’s Lily Collins as Snow White. Sure to be the eyebrowiest of Snow Whites.)
Huskies hate the new queen.
[via The Frogman]
Yay, Armie Hammer!
“A duel, you say? I accept! But high noon is too early. How about 2:30? I need time to unbuckle my vestments.”
Here’s a big gold vagina giving birth to Julia Roberts, so that’s pretty gross.
Don’t stab him, Snow White! Dwarves just multiply when you stab them!
Is that… a chicken man dancing with a topiary on the left there? This thing’s going to be f*ckin’ trippy.
“Now, then, sir, having unbuckled my vestments, I shall now be forced to thrash you.”
“We shall have cotton candy hanging from chandeliers, and a horse shall be queen, ZIM SKIM SKADOO! (*snorts line of coke, disappears*)”
Surprise, bitch, it’s little yellow riding hood.
But grandma, what thick eyebrows you have!
Hooray, Snow White can lance my goiter! Lilly Collins kind of looks like a poor man’s Jennifer Connelly.
This is what Alice in Wonderland would’ve looked like if Tim Burton was gayer.
Looks good, but could use a few more feathers, I think.
PREPARE YOUR ANUS.
[EntertainmentWeekly, Yahoo, and People via ComingSoon]
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