I didn’t read the books, so I don’t know that much about The Hunger Games, directed by Pleasantville/Seabiscuit‘s Gary Ross, other than that Lionsgate wants it to become the next Twilight. Judging by the just-released trailer, it seems to be severely lacking in vampires, abstinence, heartburn faces, or even the most vaguely ethnic temptation wolves. But it does have some neato made-up names you could imagine on a Duggar or Palin, like “Prim,” and “Katniss.” Still, it’s no “Renesmee.” That’s like a combination of “Renee” and “Esmee!”
Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the evil Capitol of the nation of Panem forces each of its twelve districts to send a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. A twisted punishment for a past uprising and an ongoing government intimidation tactic, The Hunger Games are a nationally televised event in which “Tributes” must fight with one another until one survivor remains. Pitted against highly-trained Tributes who have prepared for these Games their entire lives, Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) is forced to rely upon her sharp instincts as well as the mentorship of drunken former victor Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson). If she’s ever to return home to District 12, Katniss must make impossible choices in the arena that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.
Jennifer Lawrence is the best young actress around, but I’m not sure I can take a whole movie of Josh Hutcherson doing that weird thing with his mouth. Tragically, he seems to have contracted an Eli Manning-esque case of “HURRR Face.” But as put off as I am by Josh Hutcherson and his weird mouth, nothing could dampen my excitement for….
FUTURE BEARD!
Game over, man. I hope when Lenny Kravitz was waxing J Law’s legs he did something this nifty with her chatch. DUNT DUNT DUNNNNNN…. FUTURE SNATCH! (*cut to arrow hitting target*)
[opens March 23rd, HD available at Apple]