There’s a new poster for the American Pie reunion movie out, and the big news is that it finally answers the question that’s been on everyone’s minds: Is Natasha Lyonne still alive? She lives, apparently, AND she’s going to be in the movie (presumably with a bigger part than Shannon Elizabeth, who’s nowhere to be seen). There’s still a chance Andy Serkis is covered with ping pong balls, drunkenly rasping sex advice into a lav mic somewhere, but we’ll give the real Lyonne the benefit of the doubt for now.
Meanwhile, the poster raises at least as many questions as it answers. Questions like, is Chris Klein’s head bigger than Mena Suvari’s entire torso? Why the hell is everyone tilted sideways? What’s so fascinating about the back of Alyson Hannigan’s head, or the side of Stifler’s neck? And where would Tara Reid’s butt go in that arrangement? Hopefully these will all be answered somewhere on down the line. You may also notice that Alyson Hannigan’s flute has been replaced with a baby bottle, presumably to illustrate that there comes a time in every woman’s life where she has to stop filling up herself and start filling up babies. Or maybe it’s a hint that she’s going to shove a bottle in her pussy this time. That’d be kinky, no? Squirting your own goo back into yourself like that? Reminds me of this trick my cousin Ricky used to do.
I want more like this!
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