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The Lorax is liberal Hollywood’s latest attempt to brainwash your kids with same-sex treehuggery.

By 12.06.11

"The acid's makin' me feel like I gotta take a dump."


Danny DeVito introduces this latest trailer for Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax**, from Illumination animation, and as Danger previously noted, it’s a little odd to hear Frank Reynold’s voice coming out of a hairy orange tree creature. Like at any moment he might start talking about keeping breakfast sausages in his shirt pocket, or get a fake wheelchair for free lap dances. **Sidenote: Isn’t it a little sacrilegious to call something “Dr. Seuss’s” The Lorax or “Bram Stoker’s” Dracula, now that they’re dead and can’t control what kind of crappy movies you make in their names?

Anyway, we got a little off track there, but this looks like exactly what kind of movie those geniuses at Fox News were complaining about. It’s set in a world where all the trees are gone, and it’s up to one dude to find out where they went and how to get them back. Presumably so that everyone can get rid of their cars and quit their jobs and live happily ever after in some queer Avatar world. You know, typical liberal propaganda, all set to Vampire Weekend and their pinko yacht rock. Why don’t we ever make a movie about the brave loggers who risk their lives to cut down the trees for the wood to make the guitars for you to sing your dumb hippie songs on, huh? Or the planks to make the footbridges for you to walk across to get to the abortion clinic? Riddle me that one, Howard Zinn.

"She probably went right from the clinic and banged some guy and got knocked up, because your mother was a giant whore."


"Lizard, am I standing in poop?"


"This slot defeats the purpose. I can see your eyes! We might as well get married."



TOPICS#TRAILERS
TAGSCALLBACKSDR SEUSSILLUMINATION ENTERTAINMENTKIDS MOVIESTHE LORAX

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