TRAILERS TRAILERS TRAILERS! Avengers, Prometheus, Wrath of the Titans

My goodness, there’s certainly no shortage of movie-film trailers coming out today. Now that The Dark Knight Rises is out of the way, after the jump, I’ve got The Avengers (in German), Wrath of the Titans, and the trailer for the Prometheus trailer. That’s right, Prometheus has a trailer advertising the impending release of its trailer. That’s a lot of balls for a guy whose last movie was about a fat Robin Hood writing the Magna Carta.

Here’s The Avengers, which is in German, so it’s mostly all “Ein klein scheisse Juden ganektagazoink Sprockets dance,” but there is some new footage. It could be really stupid, and I still have no idea what Scarlette Johansson and Jeremy Renner are going to be doing the whole movie. What’s her super power, jiu-jitsu? And really, a guy with a bow and arrow? Mastering obsolete technology, that qualifies you as a superhero now? Why not one who’s super good at unicycling, or steamships? But I have to admit, rocket hands make anything cool.

And here’s Wrath of the Titans, the sequel you’ve all been not even Sam Worthington’s parents have been waiting for. Isn’t this like the twelfth one of these dumb movies they’ve made this year? Wrath of John Conan Carter of Mars vs. The Immortals. I saw Sam Worthington getting drunk at the Four Seasons bar in Beverly Hills last year yelling at the lady bartender in broken Spanish and that was a thousand times more entertaining than this. Just kidding, they’ve got the guy from Battle: Los Angeles directing this time, so I’m sure it’ll be really good. Also, I enjoyed the exchange:

HADES: “You’re sweating like a human. Next it’ll be tears.”
PERSEUS: “…Not quite.”

Whoa, what’s he foreshadowing there? I hope it cuts to a scene where Perseus is holding Hades down and jizzing in his face yelling “HOW YOU LIKE MY FLUIDS NOW, BITCH!”

And finally, here’s the trailer for the Prometheus trailer coming Thursday. Yep, a trailer for a f*cking trailer. So, does Ridley Scott seem like a drunk-on-his-own-fumes a-hole, or is it just me? That was an intro I can only describe as “Troy Duffy-esque.”

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