TOLDJA.com this morning is reporting that Steven Spielberg, fresh off an Oscar nom for his epic tale of a horse that had moxie, is close to signing a deal to direct a “a Braveheartish version of the Moses story” called Gods and Kings for Warner Bros.
“Him coming down the river, being adopted, leaving his home, forming an army, and getting the Ten Commandments,” an insider tells us. And despite the awesome screen possibilities of the parting of the Red Sea, the movie isn’t being contemplated in 3D. Warner Bros wants Spielberg to direct it with the gritty reality of Saving Private Ryan, which is considered a masterpiece redefining battle movies. ”There have been glossy versions of the Moses story but this would be a real warrior story,” an insider tells us. Insiders tell us the dialogue should consummate by the end of the month. Warner Bros wants to start production sometime in March or April of 2013.
The two writers are Stuart Hazeldine (the upcoming epic Paradise Lost for Legendary/Warner Bros and inspired by the John Milton poem) and Michael Green (co-writer of Warner Bros’ Green Lantern [Editor’s Note: WOOF] and the upcoming ABC midseason series The River for Spielberg”. [Deadline]
Gritty, gritty, gritty. Every goddamned movie has to be “gritty” these days. It’s enough to make you circumcise your first-born. Anyway, it’s easy to imagine how Spielberg would direct this. I envision about a hundred dolly-in shots on awestruck Israelites making the Spielberg face as Moses parts the Red Sea. And what better way to drive home the senseless cruelty of war and slavery than by telling the story through the eyes of an innocent golden calf?
“What koind of a calf is that?”
“The miraculous koind, Oy ‘magine.”
(*calf worshippers get turned to salt, calf continues absent-mindedly chewing grass*)