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Literally the Worst Possible News

By 02.07.12

Oh man. Get ready for a batch of frownies, guys. It turns out that Uggie, the adorable pooch from The Artist (who wears bow ties on red carpets!), is suffering from an unknown neurological disorder, and will be forced to retire. :(

The Jack Russell’s trainer, Omar Von Muller, was quoted as telling the British newspaper The Daily Mail that he suffers from a “mysterious shaking syndrome. It is a neurological disorder and we’ve spent thousands on vets’ bills trying to figure out what is causing it but the experts don’t really know.” [...]

“It comes and goes and, ironically, it is worse when he’s relaxed. When we were filming you could hardly notice it,” said Muller, adding: “It is a shame this has happened when he is getting the biggest success of his career but we feel the best thing to do is to retire him after the Oscars.” [Hollywood Reporter]

Oh man. Oh man. OhmanOhmanOhmanOhmanOhmanOhmanOhmanOhmanOhmanOhmanOhmanOhman. This news is terrible. I’m not emotionally ready to handle this. Not even close. I had just fallen in love with him! It’s going to ruin my whole day week year. This simply will not do. [sticks fingers in ears] Lalalalalala-can’t hear you-lalalalala. [takes fingers out of ears] What? There’s a tiny silver lining?

For his purportedly final hurrah, Uggie — whose brother, Dash, is expected to step in his paws — will open the Oscars telecast on Feb. 26 alongside host Billy Crystal, according to reports.

I am going to cry so goddamn hard during this.


TAGSOSCARSPARKINSONSTHE ARTISTUGGIE

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