I’ll admit that this is way less fun than finding out an actress used to do porn, but as grandma used to say, porn is porn. The story is that Jonathan Daniel Brown, who plays the chubby friend in Project X, did an actual, honest-to-God porno (not that softcore garbage your sister does) a few years ago.
TMZ.com reports that Brown appeared about three years ago in a Bang Bros. production entitled “Nerd Hunting,” in which “he banged three smoking hot chicks.” A little research by AVN determined that the production in question was actually an episode of the Bang Bros. series F*ck Team 5, and that the “smoking hot chicks” were Jennifer Dark, Ashli Orion and Phoenix Marie.
The TMZ story said “sources close to Jonathan” told the celebrity gossip outlet that he did the Bang shoot “for some first time on-screen experience,” and quoted said sources as saying, “It was just kids being kids.” (Funny, that’s not how we remember kids being when we were ones.)
Wait, did you say Jennifer Dark, Ashli Orion, and Phoenix Marie? I did indeed, sir. Jennifer Dark, Ashli Orion, and Phoenix Marie, having nude hardcore XXX sex and intercourse, naked topless and with their tits out and everything. (*cashes check from Google, buys top hat*) Of course, the best part of AVN’s story is when they asked the girls for comment:
AVN spoke directly to Orion about performing with Brown, and she actually remembered quite a lot, considering the scene was shot in 2008.
“I remember him being this cute little nerdy kid, shy, and super nervous!” Orion said. “He was really nice so I felt bad that I had to make fun of him in true F**k Team 5 fashion. The poor guy had to dress up like a fast food worker delivering our order to the van. Instead of burger, he became the meat! I let him f**k me until he popped all over my ass.
“Being the crazy girl I am, I used my ass as a sauce tray and dipped the fries we ordered in his cum,” she continued. “Yes, I ate them and I swallowed. F**king delish!” |via AVN – link NSFW|
You think that’s gross, in Holland, they use mayo.
Anyway, eat your heart out, Channing Tatum. I can only hope Steven Soderbergh is already hard at work penning the biopic, French Fry Mike, co-starring Matthew McConaughey.
I want more like this!
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