Shia Labeouf’s comic book might be better than Michael Madsen’s poetry

This is another piece of movie star-related art that someone else discovered, and the full piece is truly worth your time, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least bring Shia Labeouf’s comic books to your attention. He apparently self-published a series of comic books, and the fellas over at ComicsAlliance were lucky enough to get a hold of a couple.

LaBeouf made a surprise appearance at the C2E2 comics convention in Chicago this past weekend, signing self-published comics that the Chicago Tribune described as being “borderline philosophical” and having “crude, child-like drawings.” I unfortunately missed the signing, but when I discovered that my local shop, Chicago Comics, was selling two of his three books in store, I dashed over to pick them up.

As you can see, the title of one of them is “Let’s Fu*king Party,” which seems as good a title as anything for anything.

The closest LaBeouf comes to having a consistent through-line in Let’s F***ing Party is near the middle, where he tells us what he thinks about poets.

And here there’s a scan of one of Labeouf’s drawings, along with the text

“POETS BORE ME,
THEY ARE SLUTS.
SNAILS.
SNIPPETS OF DUST
IN A CHEAP WIND.”

While *I* probably wouldn’t have chosen to express this particular sentiment in comic book form, if hating poets and loving to party is wrong, I don’t want to be right. I’d go so far as to say that those are my two dominant personality traits.

Comics Alliance goes on to detail Labeouf’s other comic, Cyclical, which seems to be about a badass biker dude with feathers in his hair:

It sort of reads like a children’s book, in that almost nearly ever page has but one illustration and a line or two of accompanying text. LaBeouf isn’t big on panels. Or backgrounds, for that matter. Each page gives only the most basic illusion of the setting, with characters surrounded by a ubiquitous pink haze that seems to indicate everything that happens, even the indoor scenes, is occurring at sunset.

The story’s fairly simple. Two guys ride up to the edge of a canyon and look into it. One, Santavo, throws a rock to check out the distance, and they talk about how fast you’d have to go to be able to jump it. There’s some weird symbolism with a bird. Santavo asks the main character, the ominously named Dave Raven, “When you going, man?” Raven answers, “Tomorrow.” Then there’s a sex scene.

I feel like “Dave Raven” is a brilliant name for a contemporary of either Criss Angel or the wrestler Batista, I can’t decide which.

After the sex scene, Raven loads his motorcycle onto a truck, an action LaBeouf finds interesting enough to go on for an entire page. Raven and Santavo (who, the text clearly states, is wearing a sombrero) go to the canyon, Raven gets on his bike, guns it up to 125 and hits the ramp. There’s no audience or anything. He just jumps the canyon in front of one guy.

I can’t decide which turning point I like best in this synopsis, “there’s some weird symbolism with a bird. Then there’s a sex scene,” or “who, the text clearly states, is wearing a sombrero.” Imagine reading an entire book, then finding out one of the major characters had been wearing a sombrero THE ENTIRE TIME! That’s some M. Night Shyamalan-level shit right there.

 

[ComicsAlliance]

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