Cameron Diaz replaces Angelina Jolie in Cormac McCarthy's The Counselor

One of the upcoming projects I’m most excited about is The Counselor, the first original script from No Country For Old Men, etc. writer Cormac McCarthy, whose had his books and stories adapted to film many times before but has never written a script from scratch. I can’t wait to see unfiltered McCarthy (or less filtered, anyway), if only to see how many lapstrake catamites get joplinned down to the thrapple (I never know quite what he means, but it always sounds delightfully violent).

Last we heard, Ridley Scott is set to direct (I’ll believe it when I see it), Michael Fassbender was in talks for the lead, with Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, and Penelope Cruz’s names all being mentioned. Today, Twitch and Deadline are reporting that Cameron Diaz is coming on to replace a previously-attached Angelina Jolie. Diaz would play a “femme fatale” named Malkina. Here’s how ThePlaylist describes the script, which they’ve read:

Set mostly in the border country where McCarthy’s stories often take place, the screenplay (which is laid out in a play-like format, much to the ire of amateur screenwriters all over the internet) opens with a couple, the Counselor of the title — we never learn his name — and Laura, in bed. They’re clearly besotted with each other, as they share some very sexually explicit dialogue. Across the border in Mexico, a septic tank truck is specially modified and loaded up. And in the desert grasslands, another, very wealthy couple, Reiner and Malkina, take their cheetahs out hunting. Yes, cheetahs.

If you know McCarthy’s work, even just from the recent film adaptations, than you’ll have a good idea of what to expect here: blood and savagery, much more so than even ‘No Country.’ There’s also a thick vein of sexuality running through; mostly verbal, it should be said, but more than enough that the film may hit ratings issues down the line, even without the incredibly extreme violence. It’ll be an interesting test case, anyway. [ThePlaylist]

Sex, savagery, and cheetahs? I’ll take a tall glass of F*ck with a squeeze of Yes, please. Cameron Diaz might seem like a step down from Angelina Jolie, acting-wise, and she is, but at least there won’t be all the shitty tabloid stories about Brangelina working together. Cameron Diaz has never bothered me nearly as much in dramatic roles, she’s an okay actress. It’s more this weird thing Hollywood has where they take a super-funny comedy script with all the heavy-hitters from UCB in the supporting roles, and then stick Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Aniston in as the female lead. It’s not that they’re horrible, it’s just kind of offensive to comedy. They’re like the female equivalent of Ashton Kutcher. Yeah, he’s been in comedies before, sorta, but if you stick him between Kristen Wiig and Amy Poehler he’s going to look like a fool. (Example of the right way to do it: Christina Applegate in Anchorman).

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