I’ve basically been avoiding the “new masseuse says Vince Vega diddled his dong!” stories and counter stories, because there have been a million of them. And was anyone really surprised that John Travolta likes doing gay stuff? I feel like that was kind of a given without having to hear about his “wiry, unkempt pubic hair.” Still, I feel like we need at least an update for the week, so here it is. Today, according to RadarOnline, a fourth man has come forward to accuse Travolta of “groping and fondling him against his will.”
I’m not John Travolta’s lawyer, but I’m guessing it was probably because of the way the guy was dressed.
“As a result of the published lies about my client we expect some ‘John Does’ to come out of the woodwork and assert false claims,” Marty Singer tells RadarOnline.com, adding that he has not yet been contacted by an attorney representing the new accuser.
More like John DODES, am I right?? (*jumps onto whoopie cushion, gets hit with pie*)
The previous three men comprise of John Doe #1, a masseur who has recently hired Gloria Allred to represent him after being dropped by his previous attorney [because he couldn't prove Travolta was in LA on the day he was being accused of sexual battery]; an Atlanta based masseur, who is being represented by Okorie Okorocha and Chilean-born former cruise line employee, Fabian Zanzi.
The gym employee/personal trainer claims he would open the gym for Travolta when he was on location for a film shoot, after hours. “The gym was opened as a courtesy to John Travolta so that he could avoid the public yet maintain his fitness in this physically challenging role that he was doing at the time. The gym employee says that John Travolta groped and fondled him against his will,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com.
An Atlanta masseur, a Chilean cruise employee, and a personal trainer at a fancy gym. My God, it’s like they’re assembling a modern-day Village People of stereotypically gay occupations. Anyway, Gloria Allred is involved now, so I think we can officially declare this a circus. Somewhere, Tom Cruise is sitting in a giant chair, petting a cat and cackling wildly. “They’ll never suspect me now, Mittens!” he shouts, his feet dangling above the floor.