We’ve suffered an unusual string of celebrity deaths over the past two weeks, and things were getting pretty depressing. I even tried to convince myself that the aliens that are going to destroy the planet on December 21 were actually taking our best and brightest minds from us to take to the next planet, but then I was like, “WTF ALF? What about me and Kate Upton?” And now, I am sorry to report, it gets so much worse.
Prince Harry, a three-month old pygmy hippo, passed away yesterday due to complications from hernia surgery. I don’t know how many times I have tried desperately to spread awareness of the dangers of infant hippopotamus hernia operations. All for naught, I guess.
The wildlife park is devastated by the loss, especially Prince Harry’s primary caretaker, Toni Inggs. Harry was a beacon of hope for the ranch that was trying to boost the population of the critically endangered species. Prince Harry will be missed by those who took care of him and by the countless fans all over the world who fell in love with him during his brief life. (Via Pawnation)
You may be thinking, “Burnsy, you’re both sincere and handsome, but this isn’t movie news.” And I suppose you’re right, and you’re a sweetheart. But I am using this opportunity to implore Hollywood to tell Prince Harry’s story. Tell the world that this baby hippo, rejected by his cruel bitch of a mother, lived, damn it. Also, the part of the hippo’s trainer should be played by Kate Upton.
After the jump, please remember our favorite pygmy hippo.
Allow me to set the mood.
I want more like this!
Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.