Happy Madison’s latest “comedy” That’s My Boy hits theaters on Friday, and for once I’m going to be first in line to see it, as opposed to waiting until late November to suck it up and watch Adam Sandler’s annual work for my Worst Films feature. Why the change of heart? I’ve realized that by waiting so long to see films like Grown Ups, Jack and Jill, and Bucky Larson, I’m removing an essential element from the actual process of both reviewing and criticizing – the audience.
I’m going to see That’s My Boy on Friday, and then I’ll review it and tell everyone what kind of people paid $12 (aside from me and my irony) to actually laugh at the story of Sandler as the estranged father of Andy Samberg, as he shows up before his son’s wedding to make amends and borrow money. Who knows? Maybe I’m actually the problem and my hatred of films that also star Vanilla-f*cking-Ice is unfair. So we’ll see how that goes.
In the meantime, some new clips of That’s My Boy surfaced at HitFix, presumably so the bottom rung can hee and haw at them and ignore that this film won’t be reviewed by any critics before its release. That is, unless you count the film’s recent commercial in which Twitter quotes are used. Check out the clips (NSFW language) after the jump, if you’re brave.
(Apologies for the commercials on each video, especially if you get the icangotocollege.com rap video. Further proof that college is a meaningless Ponzi scheme.)
The classic character shtick for Sandler in this film is that he’s a hometown hero because he had sex with the teacher everyone had a crush on when he was a kid. So despite a horrendous accent – he went with over-the-top Boston stereotype here – and terrible hair, we must believe that women throw themselves at Donny because he’s the vile, crude bad boy.
Confession: I chuckled at “I’m gonna put a dent in that”, but that’s what Sandler does. He makes us let our guards down.
Donny’s teacher crush is played by Susan Sarandon’s daughter, Eva Amurri, which is hilarious – I suppose – because Sarandon plays the teacher in the film’s present. Gee, Susan Sarandon as a high school teacher who goes to prison for seducing and sleeping with one of her students? That’s so incredibly original. I can’t believe that nobody ever thought of that before. Especially not 30 Rock. Nope, nobody has ever done that SAME EXACT PLOT before.
Before these clips and trailers were available, people wondered how Sandler could play Samberg’s dad. I’ll give them some credit – the teacher/student affair is a valid, timely plot point, because for some reason female teachers love banging their students these days. In That’s My Boy, Donny plays the dad who never grew up, which in turn caused Todd to grow up too fast. The plot gives birth to some incredibly lazy jokes.
Donny never grew up because he was a god after high school. So he continues to party and hang out at strip clubs, and cliché cliché cliché. This means that Todd must have a crazy bachelor party on the eve of his wedding, because only Donny can show him and a crew of absurd characters the proper time. I can only pray that someone projectile vomits on someone else.
What kind of dad was Donny? The kind that got his son a full back tattoo of the New Kids on the Block when he was in third grade. The payoff of this “Hey, what’s something that people make fun of about the 80s?” joke is that as Todd grew, so did the tattoo, so all of the heads look funny.
Int. – Happy Madison Offices
Sandler and his writing team are gathered around a table.
Come on, you guys. This is taking too long. We’ve got our funny voice. We’ve got our ridiculous plot. We’ve got Leighton Meester, so we can ruin her career. Now all we need is a throwback joke about something that people used to think was cool but then became really obnoxious.
Time to make the donuts?
Where’s the beef?
Nah, those are great, you guys, but I want something that’s already been mocked by the Wayans brothers, Seltzer and Friedberg, and Family Guy.
OH MY GOD, THAT’S F*CKING GOLD!
Terrible dad returns to teach his kid how to ride a bike. I feel like I’ve seen that joke before. Bike hits parked car at medium speed but rider ridiculously flips over the car. I’ve definitely seen that joke before.
I don’t know what the point of this clip was, so I’d like to remind everyone that Leighton Meester received rave reviews for her performance in Country Strong just two years ago. And I’d bet $100 that the first thing Sandler said to her when she arrived on set was, “MEESTER! MEESTER!” So she has that going for her.
I want more like this!
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