Fred Willard (pictured, left), also known as the best part of multiple Christopher Guest movies, was arrested for lewd conduct when vice police caught him with his penis out in an adult theater. My question: what the hell else would people do at a porn theater? It’s a theater that shows porn. I think every grown adult understands that the reason people go there is to jack off. If you don’t want to see guys jacking off, don’t go inside. FREE FRED WILLARD!
According to law enforcement sources, LAPD undercover vice officers went into the Tiki Theater in Hollywood and found the
78-year-old72-year-old “Anchorman” star watching last night’s feature … with his penis exposed and in his hand.
GASP! (*clutches pearls*)
We’re told Willard was arrested around 8:45PM and booked for lewd conduct. It was a quick release [HEYO!] — we’re told he was out of police custody a short while later. As for which movie Fred was watching — there are 3 flicks in rotation at the theater … “Follow Me 2,” a XXX parody of “The Client List,” and “Step Dad No. 2.”
According to IMDB, Fred is “rumored” to be in pre-production for a movie entitled … “The Yank.” [HEYO PART 2!]
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the LAPD vice officers were not conducting a raid but rather a “random walk-through” of the premises. We’re told when theaters like this get their license, they have to allow cops in whenever they want, to inspect.
Okay, few things:
8:45 pm is like 2 am in 78-year-old time. [Update: 1:25 in 72-year-old time]
See, kids? This is why you teach grandpa to use a computer, so he can masturbate at home.
Penis out in a theater? He was probably just waiting for Alanis Morissette to show up.
Hey, LAPD: what the hell? It’s been said before but still applies: if you have nothing better to do than to arrest 78-year-old actors for jacking off, it’s time for some layoffs over there.
I like to imagine that while the cops were putting him in the squad car, he asked, “How much do you think I could bench press?” (Though I’d also accept “Hey, wha happen?”)
Finally, I just want to say that Fred Willard is awesome, and if it ever comes to it, I have a spare bedroom I’d proudly let him jack off in. You suck, LAPD. Man lives to be 78, he’s earned the right to jack off where he wants. You don’t like it, avert your snot-nosed eyes out of respect.