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Oops, we live in Idiocracy now

By / 08.22.12

Remember in Idiocracy when all the plants died because they tried to feed them Brawndo?

MAYFIELD, Ky. (CNN/WPSD) – Ranchers have struggled with skyrocketing corn prices, because the drought has made feeding their livestock very expensive. But one rancher has turned to a very sweet solution.
At Mayfield’s United Livestock Commodities, owner Joseph Watson is tweaking the recipe for success.
“Just to be able to survive, we have to look for other sources of nutrition,” he said.
His 1,400 cattle are no longer feeding off corn. The prices, Watson says, are too high to keep corn in stock. So earlier this year, he began to buy second-hand candy.
“It has a higher ratio of fat than actually feeding straight corn,” Watson explained. “It’s hard to believe it will work but we’ve already seen the results of it now.”
Watson mixes the candy with an ethanol by-product and a mineral nutrient. He says the cows have not shown any health problems from eating the candy, and they are gaining weight as they should.
“This ration is balanced to have not too much fat in it,” he said. [WPRI]

CANDY: IT’S WHAT COWS CRAVE! I guess they don’t have grass in Kentucky? Anyway, I think what Mayfield’s United needs is a commercial to properly demonstrate the radicalness of their product. They could start with a black and white shot of some cows eating corn, with an announcer saying “Are your cows still eating boring old corn?” And then there’s a big record scratch and the candy cows burst through the wall and start chugging energy drinks and shredding the gnar. No one would ever eat corn-fed beef again.

 


TAGSCOWSIDIOCRACYlife imitating art

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