With the election news cycle so focused on Big Bird, it seems we’re ignoring something far more important: that with Halloween fast approaching, we can celebrate our freedom by dressing as “slutty” versions of PBS’s favorite possibly-gay couple, Bert and Ernie (pigtails optional!). USA! USA! USA! Oh, Bert and Ernie, always wearing cleavage-bearing fauxveralls. Ha, classic.
Not into Bert and Ernie? Well there’s always “Melody Monster.”
As for me, I’ll be going as a jacked holocaust inmate. My striped pajamas are ripped just right to show off my bis and pecs. I gotta start crash dieting now though, I want to look extra shredded.