Scientologists take a lot of crap, probably because they’ve dedicated their lives to a crazy story about alien spirits a science fiction writer made up to scam rich people. But what no one wants to talk about, is that if you pay L. Ron Hubbard enough money, you can heal the sick the sick with mind bullets like that dude from The Green Mile. Something like that. Anyway, that’s what John Travolta used to help a man with a broken ankle in Shanghai recently, this according to Scientology’s official paper.
The Saturday Night Fever star, who has been studying Scientology since 1975, spoke about the incident in the controversial religion’s latest edition of their publication, Celebrity Magazine.
“I was in Shanghai recently at a work event and the Master of Ceremonies’ best friend had recently gotten into a car wreck. He had broken his ankle and was in constant pain.”
“I asked him permission to do some Scientology assists and he said, ‘Okay sure’.
“People were standing around watching as I did them. You could actually see him confronting the pain and after a while he looked up at me and said ‘I feel better’ so I said ‘Okay end of assist.’
“He had gotten noticeably better and I was chomping at the bit for more.” [Celebuzz]
“He BLINDED me with SCIENCE!” added the man, boogieing down the street on his once-broken ankle.
Sometimes I pretend to be a powerful Scientologist, and I head down to the ICU at the local hospital, and I ask patients if I can do a Scientology assist. And then when they agree, I pull out my wiener and say, “here, hold onto the e-meter!” and everyone has a good laugh. Teaching patients to laugh again is the hardest part about treating a terminal illness.
Meanwhile, following his latest assist, Travolta is only 57 behind all-time assist leader John Stockton. Though some say Karl Malone was just carrying him all those years.
[banner pic is from John Travolta’s Christmas album. Yes, this year’s Christmas album.]