I’ve always said that press junkets for movies should be more like monster truck rallies – SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! WATCH FIRE-BREATHING TRUCKASAURUS TEAR OFF JESSICA CHASTAIN’S CHROME-TITTED BIKINI! PLUS, CANDLEBOX – and it seems the folks in charge of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s The Last Stand and I think alike. Because today at Melody Ranch Studios outside Valencia- er, Santa Clarita, all the LA-based movie bloggers and critics got invited out to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger drive a tank over a car, crushing it like so much Brazilian poontang. I wasn’t able to attend personally, because I’m up here in San Francisco getting my bike seat stolen by crackheads outside Zero Dark Thirty screenings, but luckily I can still see the pictures thanks to this thing called the internet. It’s a wonderful time to be alive.
This means the movie is going to be really good, right?
Digging the flannel shirt, khakis, and business casual shoes. Arnold looks like my uncle here. My uncle sells farm real estate in Fresno, incidentally.
[pic via GermainLussier]
“Tanks ah eeleegal to drife een Kahlifoahnya, did you know dat? I had to gif myself a special exemption ven I vas da gahvena.”
[pic via DrewMcWeeny]
“Do you laike my new hayuhcaht? My fadda vas in za Nazis.”
“An heah I aam in da tank again. Heah I am crahshin anudda cah. …Ow, dat heurt.”
[Photo by DrewMcWeeny]
Apparently the car he crushed was a “hippie” Mercedes. Which is funny, because you know this whole event was planned by gay publicists from West Hollywood.
Not from today, but still relevant, for obvious reasons.