All the stars are back for Red 2, which loses director Robert Schwentke and picks up Dean Parisot, who did both the delightful Galaxy Quest and the virulently unfunny train wreck, Fun with Dick and Jane. And what is a sequel to Red if not a perfect showcase for an auteur?! I kid, of course. So between this, Bullet to the Head, The Last Stand, the six Expendables movies, etc., we really don’t get tired of watching 60-year-olds shoot stuff, huh? I wonder if John Malkovich will get his bullets switched with his Viagra pills before a big assassination with the Japanese. So much wackiness would ensue! It’s weird to me that Tarantino makes a movie about slavery and never stops getting asked about “normalizing violence,” yet every year, at least 20 of these “(INSERT STAR HERE) is a spy” movies come out where the entire trailer is nothing but sanitized murder, and no one bats an eye. My guess is that by the time a reporter actually puts pen to paper, she’s forgotten the entire movie even existed.
Oops, I meant to say THIS LOOKS GREAT! BRUCE WILLIS IS FUN! HURPITY DING DONG PEW PEW!