If you ask me, there’s no greater way of branding a movie a failure than by including it in the annual FilmDrunk Worst Movies feature, but some more traditional people believe that the Razzies are actually the ultimate decider of cinematic disgust and scorn. Either way, it’s no secret that Hollywood produces some incredibly horrible movies each year, and many of them come from repeat offenders. Thankfully, the Razzies keep track of these miscreants and their horrible films so that we can hurl figurative feces in their direction each February.
The one glaring difference between my Worst Movies feature and the Razzies, though, is that while I have sworn to exclude Happy Madison films out of fairness to the other movies that were legitimately terrible, the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation thrives in its contempt for all things Adam Sandler. Sandler’s not alone, though, as the Razzies committee has quite a few recurring targets, and this year’s nominations are hardly going to shock you.
[Vince's Note: I hate the Razzies. The most impressive thing about the Razzies is that they've been around since 1981 and have yet to make a single interesting or ballsy nomination. I might respect them if I thought they actually watched a lot of movies and voted for their worst, but instead they just choose the movies that are most socially acceptable to hate and hope someone in the cast will show up to their dopey ceremony. What's the point?]
The one glaring omission is my pick for the Worst Movie of 2012, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Some Drunkards thought I was a little too tough on Abe, but it was still TERRIBLE. Additionally, the shortage of nominations for our Drunkards’ Choice Worst Movie, Alex Cross, is also unfortunate, but I am glad to see Tyler Perry get his shot at Worst Actor.
That said, since That’s My Boy was a horribly offensive exercise is throwing acid at my eyes, Sandler should once again clean up.
Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
That’s My Boy!
A Thousand Words
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Katherine Heigl, One For The Money
Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil #5: Retribution
Tyler Perry (In Drag), Madea’s Witless Protection
Kristen Stewart, Snow White and The Huntsman & Twilight S.B.D. #2
Barbra Streisand, Guilt Trip
Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance & Seeking Justice
Eddie Murphy, A Thousand Words
Robert Pattinson, Twilight S.B.D. #2
Tyler Perry (Not in Drag), Alex Cross & Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds
Adam Sandler, That’s My Boy!
Worst Supporting Actress
Jessica Biel, Playing For Keeps & Total Recall
Brooklyn Decker, Battleship & What To Expect When You’re Expecting
Ashley Green, Twilight S.B.D. #2
Jennifer Lopez, What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Worst Supporting Actor
David Hasselhoff (as “Himself”), Pirannha 3-DD
Taylor Lautner, Twilight S.B.D. #2
Liam Neeson, Battleship & Wrath of the Titans
Nick Swardson, That’s My Boy
Vanilla Ice (as “Himself”), That’s My Boy
Worst Screen Couple
Any Combination of Two Cast Members from “Jersey Shore”, The Three Stooges
Mackenzie Foy (as “Little Renesmee”) & Taylor Lautner, Twilight: S.B.D. #2
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart, Twilight: S.B.D. #2
Tyler Perry & His Drag Get-Up, Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witless Protection
Adam Sandler and either Leighton Meester, Andy Samberg, or Susan Sarandon, That’s My Boy
Sean Anders, That’s My Boy
Peter Berg, Battleship
Bill Condon, Twilight S.B.D. #2
Tyler Perry, Good Deeds & Madea’s Witless Protection
John Putch, ATLAS SHRUGGED: PART II
Worst Screen Ensemble
The Entire Cast of Battleship
The Entire Cast of Oogieloves inThe Big Balloon Adventure
The Entire Cast of That’s My Boy
The Entire Cast of Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn, Part 2
The Entire Cast of Madea’s Witless Protection
Atlas Shrugged: Part II
That’s My Boy!
A Thousand Words
Twilight S.B.D. #2
(H/T to Deadline)