While I’m mostly convinced that the Kai the Home
less free Hitchhiker story is eventually going to end in tragedy or at least mundane depression, a la the Golden-Voiced Hobo, for the time being, it’s still fairly uplifting. Kai went on Jimmy Kimmel last night, and in a six-minute segment (you can watch below), proved to be just as compelling as he was when he was delivering positive messages and smashing a guy with a hatchet. Besides the fact that Kai is basically a foul-mouthed, surf-bro version of the Incredible Hulk, a drifter who goes from town to town hiding from his demons while fighting crime and enforcing his own moral code, he seems suspiciously educated. For instance, in the original video, Kai described the victim of his hatchet justice as “haole, got no breath in him, you know what I’m saying?”
“Haole” being a Hawaiian term for foreigner, which some people think means “breathless,” stemming from Hawaiians’ observation that foreigners didn’t use a Polynesian greeting that includes breath sharing. It’s not crazy that a surfer might know something like that, but this time around, Kai also quotes Greek (25 seconds into the second video – something about “fileo towards sofia”) and mentions a story about the queen of England locking two ravens in the Tower of London (1:35 of the second video) – a reference to the legend that the kingdom would fall if ravens ever left the Tower of London, specifically the two ravens born there in May 2012. So, if Kai isn’t educated, he’s at the very least a hobo who reads a lot. Oh, but that’s not all.
Jimmy Kimmel also explains how Kai gave away all the money that the show gave him, and even gave away the backpack with all his worldly possessions. Also, he apparently shoplifts to give away to poor people, saying, “I jack HELLA† shit from WalMart and Target!”
So, basically, he’s some type of multi-lingual, history-wise, monk-like freedom fighter, a combination of Robin Hood, the Incredible Hulk, and Braveheart, who talks like MichaelAngelo the Ninja Turtle after a week-long yoga seminar and dreams of building a treehouse. If you don’t think this guy is interesting, I don’t know what to tell you.
†Does “hella” indicate he’s from NorCal, or is that just everywhere now?
[Picture 2 via JessobReisbeck/Instagram]
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