This isn’t exactly movie news, but Dick Clark owned a house modeled after The Flintstones’ home, so I’m as close to it as I need to be. Besides, Vinnie and I never sleep on a chance to report some kind-hearted bro news, and this is about the biggest bro story you’ll hear this week. Almost a year after his passing, Clark’s warmth and character are still delivering, as he apparently left his old college fraternity $1 million in his will.
According to legal docs filed by the Clark Estate trustees, Dick gave the loot to the Delta Kappa Epsilon Foundation in New York, which handles finances for the frat’s chapters around the country.
Dick passed away last April … and various money issues are still being hashed out.
FYI, Clark was a DKE bro while he attended Syracuse University from 1947-1951. (Via TMZ)
What kind of money issues exactly? Well, the reports are vague. But I was lucky enpugh to actually get my hands on the part of Clark’s will that breaks down his generous donation to the DKE fraternity and the rules they must follow in order to complete the transaction.
For the reading of this specific section of the last will and testament for me, Richard Augustus Wagstaff Clark, Jr., I would like to ask that any people who were not a part of the Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity please leave the room, as this is addressed only to them.
Bros, check this sh*t out, okay? Like, one time back in ’49 me and Jizzy Pete were picking up some bottles of rye from the Hadji mart across from the Quad after the ‘Cuse lacrosse game. We were taking those hot Tri Delt twins to their “Red Scare” graffiti function at Fuzzy Navels for Bladder Bust night. Anyway, Date Rape Dave’s dad, Draft Dodger Dan, was supposed to loan us his car, but he got busted with some hookers that night. So Taint and Dozer said they’d pick us up, but they were like two hours late because they hit Anal Jane with their truck and we had to bury her behind the house.
So I’m leaving you bros this check for $1 million, and half of that is gonna go to a new hot tub patio out back. Make sure you get an awesome grill and a stripper pole. But you bros need to dig her bones up first. Just leave ‘em in the Sigma Chi yard.