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Film Drunk Foreign Policy Update: Here Is A Picture Of Steven Seagal With Vladimir Putin

By / 03.13.13
“Relax, children, you’ll all have a chance to be kicked by Mr. Seagal.”

Not to be outdone by noted diplomat and excellent-jacket-haver Dennis Rodman, Steven Seagal is apparently getting into the “Hey look, that guy who played basketball and/or made action movies 15 years ago is meeting with an important foreign leader because this is how the world works now, I guess” game. Pictured above, please find the star of Under Siege, Kimono Nights, Dragon Squad, and Kill Switch (one of those is fake, btw) with Russian president Vladimir Putin. Why is the star of Attack Force, Pistol Whipped, Revenge, Inc., and Death Patrol (two are fake this time) with Russian president Vladimir Putin, you ask?

Putin attended the opening of a new Russian martial arts school and, naturally, invited the 60-year-old star — who is a 7th-degree black belt in Aikido — along for companionship. [TMZ]

Well, goddammit. That’s actually kind of a legit reason. I was hoping it was something like “Steven Seagal Vows to Investigate Meteor Landing and Bring Those Responsible to Justice” or “Putin to Seagal: ‘Teach My Army How to Judo Chop.'” This … this publicity appearance … it simply will not do. If we’re sending C-and D-list celebrities to meet with foreign dignitaries, I demand more shenanigans. These people are our greatest natural resource at this point. We shouldn’t be wasting them like this.

In conclusion, here is Vladimir Putin riding a horse with no shirt on. Putin doesn’t have a shirt on, I mean, not the horse. Although the horse isn’t wearing a shirt either, technically. Something to think about, I guess.


TAGSRUSSIASteven Seagal

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