I was going to mock up a sweet Usual Suspects Photoshop for this story, but it turns out we already have a non-shopped picture of the real thing: police unfairly profiling and then frisking suspects, just because they happen to be dressed like Spider-Men. Apparently it all started when a Hollywood Boulevard Spider-Man stole $6,000 from a bus company employee. Why, the sticky fingers on that web-slinger.
Police are on the hunt for Spider-Man after the masked web-slinger snatched a paper bag filled with $6,000 in cash and credit card information from an employee of the Starlines Tour Bus company.
It happened Friday morning as the worker was leaving the firm’s Hollywood Boulevard headquarters, said Los Angeles Police Department Lt. Rich Galbaldon, a watch commander at the Hollywood Division.
Hoping their web-head didn’t make it too far, police have been rounding up other Spidey impersonators who were seen milling about in the area, which sits near the TCL Chinese Theatre, formerly Grauman’s, a tourist mecca.
Pretty much the saddest tourist mecca outside of the Holocaust Museum. “Hey, kids, wanna see some vagrants wearing tights on the sidewalk of an empty theater? Bring sunscreen!”
So far, no arrests have been made.
Other local superheroes — among them Superman, Batman and Catwoman — have said they would help the police in the search for the masked felon around the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
No matter how many times I see it, no matter how logical it is once you break it down, seeing a guy wearing a superhero costume get put in handcuffs never gets old. I mean, better if he has a burrito stuffed in his pants, but always a welcome diversion regardless.
I would’ve bet at least a thousand dollars on one of them being a sex offender before I even watched this video. I also like the image of a superhero shooting heroin in an alley.