This was a pretty big week for asinine and therefore hilarious Florida news stories, so picking one that I loved the most was pretty tough. There was the dude who was arrested and taken to jail while wearing a “Jail Sucks” t-shirt, the guy who whipped *breathes on glasses* it out while hitting on a mom in front of her kids and, of course, there was the guy who broke into a house and was busted masturbating with a toy helicopter after he made himself a salad.
Each of those is certainly worthy of its own Florida Friday post – and I anticipate Vince emailing me to complain that I didn’t pick that last one – but I personally loved this tale of a man who tried to use 911 as his own ridiculous Doorstep Delivery.
A St. Petersburg man is accused of misusing the 911 system to request that he wanted “Kool-Aid, burgers and weed to be delivered to him.”
The Tampa Bay Times reports 34-year-old Jarvis Sutton dialed 911 about 80 times on Sunday.
Police say Sutton admitted to making the calls.
The burgers, Kool-Aid and weed were never delivered. But St. Petersburg police say Sutton started chewing on the foam attached to the metal caging in the back of a police cruiser. (Via WPTV)
Well do you blame him? He obviously had the munchies and the buzzkill cops refused to bring him a burger. And for all we know the foam in the police cruiser tastes like Volcano tacos. We’ll never know unless someone tries. Sutton might very well be a hero for finding out.
I want more like this!
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