If you’re behind on the Farrah Abraham porno fiasco, the basic run down is here and here, and our friend Lee Roy Myers even had Deen on his podcast to discuss the whole thing. The gist though, is that Farrah Abraham’s people wanted to make her more famous, so, taking a page from Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, they planned a “leaked sex tape.” To shoot this, they hired one of the most recognizable porn actors in the world, because they’re not very smart. James Deen agreed, but told them he wasn’t going to lie for them if anyone asked about it. They agreed, then went ahead with their plan anyway. And when James Deen did exactly what he said he would all along and told the truth about it, they got mad and told TMZ he had a small penis. Which, again, the genius of this particular burn when used on a recognizable porn star cannot be overstated. Weeks later, Vivid still ignored all the press, and released the tape as “the private tape made public,” ignoring the arguably equally-compelling reality, that a psuedo-celebrity released a legit porno, complete with anal sex and squirting, and was utterly without inhibition. These people are like reality show producers from hell, who can’t help but tell lies, even when they’re obvious and self-defeating, simply because they’ve built up too much momentum.
Which brings us to almost the present, when the latest idea from Farrah’s people to keep this story in the press was to get her photographed while shopping for a pregnancy test. Because durrrrr, maybe she’s “pregnant” from her latest “sex tape!” While the idea that this could be the world’s first photographically-confirmed drip-down baby is intriguing, James Deen understandably isn’t too stoked about it:
“This is a type of publicity I do not agree with and I do not want to participate in. Joking or lying or using pregnancy to get attention and media is not cool. It involves three people’s lives including the potential unborn child. It is not a subject to just throw around.”
“I am taking it seriously enough to research the possibility of someone getting pregnant from anal sex and semen on their face while they are having sex on their period with a sponge inside them,” he added.
Whoa whoa whoa, don’t shatter the mystique, man!
“I spoke to the clinic where we both got tested before our scene along with my personal medical doctor regarding the subject. However, I am more concerned about the fact that Vivid told me she was on birth control. Had I known she was not taking preventive measures I would have never accepted the scene.”
Seems obvious now why they weren’t transparent with their plans in the first place. “Hey, so is it cool if we feed a story to the press that implies everyone involved in your industry is irresponsible to the point of criminal negligence? Because our client really needs her name in the press for a few more days.”
“When we first shot the scene within the first 30 seconds she said ‘I want you to cum inside me.’
“So I thought in my head this is the type of behavior that could happen — that she wanted to create a fake pregnancy scam.”
If it weren’t for James Deen, this entire story would make me wonder if shame had become obsolete. And I don’t mean sexual shame, because clearly the only integrity in this story belongs to the guy who gets filmed having sex for a living. I don’t mean she should be ashamed of having sex, or liking sex, or even getting filmed having sex. I’m just saying that maybe, just maybe, she should be a little ashamed of wanting fame so badly that, just for the tiniest crumb of it, she’ll try to convince the world that she’s pregnant with an accidental butt baby.
Accidental Butt Baby is the name of my indie band, uncle had a racehorse named Accidental Butt Baby, etc.