The new Optimus Prime truck is bigger and with more flames and penises because of course.

Since I know most of us spend most our days pondering the big questions, like “what will the truck that transforms into the shooty robot look like in the fourth Transformers movie?” I thought I’d just put an end to the suspense. If you answered “tasteful, with better fuel economy and a minimalist, European-inspired design,” sorry, Pierre, you’re wrong. The correct answer is “bigger, with more flames, a hood that nearly blocks out the windshield and fifteen chrome penises.” Though I would’ve also accepted “OOOOOH WAH AH AH-AH!”

Michael Bay has cast Academy Award®-nominee Mark Wahlberg in the highly anticipated “TRANSFORMERS 4.”  The film will hit theaters June 27th, 2014.

“Mark is awesome.  We had a blast working on “Pain and Gain” and I’m so fired up to be back working with him.  An actor of his caliber is the perfect guy to re-invigorate the franchise and carry on the Transformers’ legacy,” said Bay.

Bay will direct the next installment in the “TRANSFORMERS” series, which begins shooting next spring.

Luckily, Optimus Prime drives himself, so Marky Mark won’t need to add blocks to the pedals or an extender to reach the gear shifts (because he’s gawt shawt little fackin T-Rex ahms, get it? FACK YOU).

Meanwhile, here’s the new “retro-mod” inspired Bumblebee:

Michael Bay doesn’t know much about cars, but I’m told his only note to the designers was “a car that would f*ck your girlfriend.”

[Bumblebee via LatinoReview]

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