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Weekend Movie Guide: ‘Iron Man 3′, Obviously

By / 05.03.13
BOOP BEEP ZORP ZOP

Opening Everywhere: Iron Man 3, The Iceman

FilmDrunk Suggests: DUNNNNNNNN DUN DUN DUN DUN!!! F*CK YEAH, IRON MAN! I’m actually more excited that the horrible run of spring weekends is over. I’ve never been so bored week after week. This summer better be strong. Looking at you, White House Down.

You know what they say – once you go War Machine, you always want more, um, machine.

Iron Man 3

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 77% critics, 84% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“After a while, the steady diet of tongue-in-cheek starts to taste monotonous as day-old gum.” – Liam Lacey, Globe and Mail

“By even posing questions of identity, the film creates the kind of jeopardy we can believe in, and for a superhero movie, that is an accomplishment in and of itself.” – Kenneth Turan, LA Times

Armchair Analysis: I’ve been reading a lot of random fanboy rage over this third and presumably final installment of the Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man, and when it’s all said and done, I hope that Marvel gets someone awful for the next run (and there will always be a next run).

But I hope they pick Kellan Lutz or Taylor Lautner for the next Iron Man so these people who pick these movies apart like they’re supposed to be biblical in their translation from the comics to the big screen just finally poison their own Kool-Aid and leave us alone.

That’s also why I’m going to keep telling people that Iron Man 2 was my favorite of the three films, so people will have heart attacks over it.

PEW! PEW!

The Iceman

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 68% critics, 75% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“There’s not much style here, beyond the uniformly good acting, and even less of a point.” – Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger

“Michael Shannon’s mesmerizing portrayal of Richard Kuklinski, a notorious contract killer, has the paradoxical quality, peculiar to many great screen performances, of being unreadable and transparent.” – Stephen Holden, NY Times

Armchair Analysis: Dear Hollywood, please let Michael Shannon continue to play awesome characters and cold-blooded killers forever and ever. Signed, everyone.


TAGSIron Man 3THE ICEMANWEEKEND MOVIE GUIDE

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