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The Hobbit: We’re Almost Halfway to the Mountain Now gets its first poster

By / 06.10.13

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Today brings us the first poster for Peter Jackson’s second of his three-part Hobbit trilogy, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. And what a poster it is! My gosh, is that the Lonely Mountain Bilbo is staring passively at?? I wonder if Bilbo and the boys will actually make it inside by the end of the movie this time! I hope so, but then I wouldn’t want to miss out on any extraneous side characters with bird poop running down their faces either!

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If you haven’t seen the first Hobbit, SPOILER ALERT, Bilbro and his gang of dwarves who do nothing but treat him like sh*t the entire time spend the whole movie talking about going to the Lonely Mountain to take their stuff back from the Dragon Smaug. After a series of arguments and side quests and the lead dwarf acting like a humorless emo jerk the entire time, the movie ends with them seeing the mountain off in the distance, with a close-up of Smaug’s eye. And… FIN. In Peter Jackson’s version of Checkhov’s gun, if you show the audience a loaded gun in the first act, by the end, the characters have better gone on a long side quest to buy an ornate holster, and the play ends with the main character day dreaming about one day owning the gun, with a closeup on his forehead as he sweats with anticipation. The gun doesn’t actually fire until the last of a six-part epilogue.

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug opens December 13th, with the trailer attached to Man of Steel scheduled to hit the internet tomorrow. Obviously I can’t wait.

[Previously: Evangeline Lilly as Tauriel, a character invented specially for the movies.]


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